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The two most famous swords in world history have the same thing in common: They probably weren’t real.
Excalibur, the legendary blade of King Arthur, was purportedly stuck in a stone. Beneath it was the inscription: “Whoso pulleth out this stone and anvil, is rightwise king born of all England.”
Sooneday,aprecociouskidnamedArthuryankeditout—instantlybecomingthenewking.Whichmeant,ofcourse,thattherewasnowabigstonewithasword-sizedholeonthetop.Itprobablybecameatouristattraction:Thelocalscould’vejammedacheap,plasticswordintotheholeandchargedvisitorsanickeltoremoveit.“Lookatme,Marge,I’mthenewkingofEngland!”
Withoutquestion,Excaliburistheworld’smostfamoussword.Therunner-upisprobablytheSwordofDamocles.
Thingis,itwasn’tDamocles’sword.ItbelongedtoDionysiusIofSyracuse,thetyrantkingofSicily.
Dionysiuswasarealbaddude.Hewasalowlyclerkwhoworkedhiswayuptoall-powerfuldictator.Ancienthistoriansconsideredhimthecruelestandbloodiestleaderofhisday.(InDante’s“Inferno,”hiseternalrestingplaceisariverofboilingblood.)
